A Day in a Life
by Moiraine123
Summary: Gabrielle is bored so she decides to write a story about her and Xena's adventures together. Until something goes wrong and ruins her story!


**Day In a Life

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**Reminder: Characters are not mine I just use them for my own entertainment.**

**This is also my first Xena story so I hope all you Xena fans will enjoy this! :)**

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_I sing of a Warrior Queen! A selfless woman of fierce ambition to do only good and laughs in the face of evil. A warrior of such courage and love that all who look upon her bow down before her and praise her exalted name on high! With the strength of ten men she can carry an army to victory and free the enslaved and restore peace and order to a barren land. She is Xena a mighty warrior queen forged in the heat of battle; Her courage will change the world! _

The bard looked dispassionately upon her scroll before running a large X through what she had just written. Gabrielle rolled her eyes at herself and looked over her shoulder to where the warrior was deep in slumber on the other side of the camp fire. "I have to be more creative!" The blonde scoffed herself before starting again. This time with a little more swagger.

_I sing of a mortal goddess who possesses the means to paralyze any who comes within her midst with an aching desire and need of her beauty. She can cripple any mortal with a bat of an eye or a shake of a hip. In the heat of the moment her glory rains down upon all those who seek it. She is Xena a sensual queen devoted to the worship of lust and desire, her specialty being the art of sex. _

Gabrielle smirked inwardly and decided that she liked the direction of where her story was going. Getting more comfortable, the blonde shifted more comfortably into the rock that she had been leaning on and continued with more vigour than before.

_As all mythologies go, Xena had her vices. She may have been alluring, and sexually charged to the male race, but she was lonely and tired of the game. Deep down, Xena the mortal goddess sought the love of another. She was no longer content with the mindless lust of men, she wanted more. _

_On one such occasion, while in the throws of passion with one of her male suitors she had an epiphany. Xena needed to leave her old life behind and embark on her own self discovery and leave the lavish halls of Mount Olympus and come back down to man. _

_When Xena finally found the courage to leave the comfort of her home, she descended down upon the land in hopes of finally finding what she was really looking for: true love. Since, Xena was a goddess she thought it best to land somewhere where very few humans passed. In the end she decided on making her first appearance in a densely forested piece of land. _

_Walking in circles in the new environment Xena came to the conclusion that if she were to fit in with the locals she needed to leave behind her costume that would identify her as something other than human. _

_The mortal goddess newly come to earth dug a shallow hole with her hands and threw her stripped garments on the ground before covering them with dirt. Once Xena was satisfied that she had completely lost her identity she vaguely noticed that she was hungry, a feeling that she had not had to succumb since she entered Mount Olympus. _

_Dressed only in a shift, Xena began her journey to finding a human settlement to sate her hunger. After walking for some time, she came across a small farming village where the locals looked upon their new arrival with a mixture of fear and curiosity. _

_The first human she came across was a small balding man chopping lumber behind a small shed. Xena half waved to the man and gestured him to stop. "Hello there, minster. I'm new in town and I was wondering where I could get something to eat?" _

_The small balding man looked up at the raven haired woman speculatively, and vaguely pointed left. Xena tipped her head to the man in appreciation and headed off in the direction the man pointed to._

Gabrielle read over what she had so far and stretched her arms in the air. She gingerly looked over the campfire to make sure the warrior woman was still deep in sleep. When the blonde was content with the fact that her friend was still asleep she decided to continue on with her story.

_Up ahead there stood the largest building in the village so far, which from the looks of it was the local inn. Xena marched up to the front door and forcibly pushed it open. As the door opened she could see that the interior was bright with a cheery atmosphere that only a small town could possess. The bar was located at the rear of the building and a stout red head stood behind it wiping down the counter. _

"_Hey Lady!" Xena called over to the woman behind the counter. "Got any grub?" The raven haired woman sauntered over to the bar and swung her leg over one of the stools. The stout ginger bar maid was startled by the strangers approach._

"_What can I git yer?" The bar maid ground out, still wary of the darker woman in front of her._

_Xena slammed her hand down on the bar and when she lifted it up five golden dinars lay invitingly on the table. "What can I get with this?" The goddess asked honestly, she had been away far too long to remember what the currency rates were these days. When the other woman didn't respond Xena continued, "well I'm thinking I might wanna stay for awhile, so I might need a place to sleep and I'm starved, so some food would be nice and whatever good looking feller you could ground up for me...would be welcome." Xena flashed the bar maid a wicked smile before the woman went scurrying off into the kitchen._

_After the little exchange, Xena turned in her stool to take stock of the place. Looking around she could see five tables lining the wall and a few more scattered across the room. There were a few people sitting in the tables, mostly the locals being farmers and their families. But in one of the tables the farthest one from the bar, closer to the front door, Xena could see the back a blonde's head and a farmer boy sharing lunch. Finding the boy quite attractive the fallen goddess thought it would be fun to go and spoil the party for the girl and tease the boy._

_Xena got up and grabbed her coins and walked over to the couple. "Howya doing." She directed to the boy. The younger man smiled up mystified by her beauty and gulped audibly. The blonde sitting across from him crossed her arms and stared at Xena defiantly. _

"_Hi there I'm Gabrielle and this is Perdicus. Who might you be?" Gabrielle raised a brow at the intruder._

_The raven haired woman finally looked over to the blonde who was sitting there and was startled by her vast beauty." Xena gulped and puffed herself up and said, "the names Xena."_

"Vast beauty huh? I didn't know that's how our first meeting went."

Gabrielle looked up from her parchment and stared straight into the eyes of her supposedly sleeping friend. "Uh how long have you been reading over my shoulder?"

Tapping her chin Xena pondered the question for a brief moment before replying. "Oh enough to know the whole story. I didn't know I was a goddess who wanted to find love, and I really don't remember our first meeting being like that. _Startled by her vast beauty..." _The raven haired woman laughed before continuing, "give me that parchment and quill, let me tell you what really happened."

The bard crunched up the paper to her chest. "No this is my story and I made it up...come on Xena don't ruin it!"

"Too late!" Xena grabbed the parchment and scribbled down some words, then returned it back to her blonde friend.

Gabrielle grabbed the parchment out of Xena's hands and read what she wrote:

_Then the blonde girl looked upon the great warrior queen with adoration and fell to the floor in praise to her new goddess. "Oh how I adore you mighty Xena, Queen of all the Goddesses and Gods. I will give you anything, here have my dopey boy friend I am sure you can please him better than I." Gabrielle sank her face to the floor and kissed the mighty woman's feet._

"What is this!?" The bard exclaimed. " I would never worship you nor would I ever kiss your feet! Have you seen your toes lately? They are disgusting."

Xena cradled her arms around her abdomen as to try and catch her breath from laughing to hard."Well if you didn't write such fluff, maybe I would take your work seriously!"

Gabrielle crossed her arms and turned her back to her friend. "Well maybe I wanted to write for a more sophisticated audience."

The warrior scoffed, "well if you didn't make me look like such a sex feign and slob I wouldn't feel the need to change the plot!"

Sobering Gabrielle replied. "Well you didn't let me finish the story."

Sighing Xena shrugged, "Okay, what happens next?"

"Well what I was writing before you so rudely interrupted:

_The farmer boy that was sitting across from Gabrielle gasped, "You're Xena? The XENA!"_

_The blonde girl stared questioning at Perticus and looked at the other woman hovering over them. "Perdicus how do you know this woman? Who is she?"_

_Going red in the face the younger man gulped, "uhh..."_

_Before Perticus could finish his sentence, Xena finished for him, "I'm a goddess, the goddess of pleasure. Every man knows who I am, gods only know I've almost slept with every one of em."_

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait right there blondey! I thought you said you were gunna improve my character! I'm a warrior not some whore." Xena crossed her arms and glared at her friend with the threat of something unpleasant to come.

The bard smiled weakly at the pending danger, "come on give the story some time. It needs to ease into the character growth. It's barely begun."

"Well I think I have a few ideas for some growth...

_Xena whips out a knife from within her boot and whirls around to face Baccus. The demon god had snuck up on her again and if he thought to trick her now he was sorely mistaken._

_With a quick twitch of her wrist Xena plunges the short dagger in to the creature's jugular making red blood shine everywhere. Locals begin to stream out of the inn leaving the mighty warrior alone with her kill._

"_Any last words before I slice you head off?" The great woman that is Xena mocks. "No, well I guess this is good-bye!" Xena grabs Baccus' head back and tears out his throat splashing crimson blood all over her face._

"Oh Xena that's gross! And where did Baccus come into this?"

The other woman strugged. "Your story was boring, gotta add some action and gore!"

Gabrielle took back her parchment and rolled it up. "You know what you win! I give up."

The warrior woman shrugged oblivious to her friend's mood. "Geeze you know what Gabrielle I'm starved. Let's go fishing! Skinny dipping style. Last one to the lake is a rotten egg!" Xena jumped up and whipped her shift off in one stroke before tearing off towards the lake.

The sun was already starting to rise and Gabrielle was already starting to feel the pangs of hunger. Even though Xena had ruined her story she couldn't stay mad at her friend. Following suit Gabrielle stripped down and chased Xena down to the lake calling out obscenities before crashing into the icy morning water.

"Gabrielle's a rotten egg! You know what that means...you have to cook breakfast!" Xena taunted.

"No way Xena, that's not fair you had a head start!" Came Gabrielle's whine.

**End**

****Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writting it! (Reviews are always welcome)****


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